Carol ReMarks

The Gent, A Dying Breed

August 02, 2020 Carol Marks Episode 6
Carol ReMarks
The Gent, A Dying Breed
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Show Notes Transcript

The Gent, my husband, joins in on the podcast fun! Allow me to introduce you to The Gent! His take on how we met, when we started dating, what he does for a living, and what he wants to do in retirement. I'm so nervous!



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Unknown Speaker :

I'm not sure how we're going to start this and say, well, Gracie and I do it this way. say oh, by the way, we're, by the

Unknown Speaker :

way we are recording.

Unknown Speaker :

And welcome back. You'll see we are plugged in order to make sure but that I don't know why I'm super nervous today because I have the gint on today. This is going to be our podcast we do together. Welcome to life after 50 My name is Carol Marks. And today's episode is all about the gent.

Unknown Speaker :

That's me.

Unknown Speaker :

Yes, that is. Do you want to use remain? We're just the jet.

Unknown Speaker :

It's your podcast, and I'm your guests. So

Unknown Speaker :

well. You're not might you're gonna be my guest today, but hopefully you will be on as a regular maybe not every week but then I will be a recurring dentist. Okay, well, okay, but I want this to be our podcast. So we do Together, maybe not every week, but you know,

Unknown Speaker :

well then how do you have it light? Well, do you have it labeled as

Unknown Speaker :

life after?

Unknown Speaker :

5050? Yeah, if it's gonna be our podcast, you have to say it's life after 50 with the gym. No with it. Okay,

Unknown Speaker :

whatever. Whatever.

Unknown Speaker :

Okay, well, this is what I do to my wife all the time. Oh, yes.

Unknown Speaker :

All the time that she loves me. I do. There you go. I love you a lot. But I'm nervous. I don't know why I'm nervous. We've been married 12 years I should not be nervous in front of you.

Unknown Speaker :

You remember right? for like six or seven years of our first part of our marriage. I used to always tell you that. I always had sometimes have trouble talking to you because I was nervous.

Unknown Speaker :

She may be getting it. I was nervous. I wanted to impress you. Maybe

Unknown Speaker :

that's it? Maybe that's what it is because I'm doing a podcast something that I love and I'm sharing it with you. So maybe that's why I'm nervous. You want to impress me? I do. I always want to impress you. I've told When we first got together You make me want to be a better person

Unknown Speaker :

than I think you are.

Unknown Speaker :

Alright, so this is Episode Six. Last week I talked about myself and you know if you're gonna listen to this podcast you probably want to know that you're dealing with so I gave you a little bit about my background. today's gonna be a little bit about Kerry's background carries his real name digit. You want to start off with how you got your nickname the gent? Well, first of all, if you're gonna want to attract people to your podcast, you really don't want them to really know about me.

Unknown Speaker :

Either. Know, they're probably gonna want to come listen for you and not me. It's kind of scary. So I can't really go into all the whys and wherefores, but you know,

Unknown Speaker :

if you want to ask some questions to start it, oh, maybe I can get in the direction that will not scare too many people off.

Unknown Speaker :

All right. Well, since since you don't want to talk about how you got your nickname. I will talk about Oh, gave you the nickname The gin. Here's why. Here's the honest to God's truth. When we first met, I was all into Sex in the City, the show TV show, and I loved how Carrie Bradshaw named her significant other, Mr. Big. I was like, I want you to have a nickname. It's like, what can I nickname and Well, obviously it's the gym because when we first got together, we were friends for a long, long time. And then when I became kind of romantically interested in you, you were a perfect gentleman. And, you know, I always say, I either thought one or two things you were not into me or you against.

Unknown Speaker :

Because he never made a pass at me. She learned differently. Yes, anyway, not that there's anything wrong with that. Not at all. But that's how I nickname you the JIT. Okay,

Unknown Speaker :

well, I hope I can live up to the gent as far as a definition and a way of looking at people and I hope I hope I do because I try to be the Gentlemen, the way my I guess be the way my mother taught me, you know to have my dad taught me to be a gentleman to have manners. I will always think that chivalry is not dead. It is just on hold for maybe a generation

Unknown Speaker :

on hold for generation. I like that.

Unknown Speaker :

It will come back. Yes, those things will come.

Unknown Speaker :

But I really do believe you I will. I will continue to

Unknown Speaker :

practice if

Unknown Speaker :

you are a dying breed. There's not many men like you left. I don't know if it's an age generation thing. Because anyway, that's a whole different

Unknown Speaker :

topic. I think a lot of you know, a lot of my friends and the people in my generation, that's the way you were taught and that's the way you acted. And that's that was a norm that was what you did. And that was and everybody liked it there seemed like everybody got along a lot better when those two things were, you know, that was going on there. I digress.

Unknown Speaker :

Well, it's okay. It's alright. It's our podcast, we could talk about what we want to ask.

Unknown Speaker :

In last week's episode, I talked about the Christmas party we went to and I want I told by my take on it, but I've never asked you about your take on it. So we went to this Christmas party, but we did not go together. We were just there. It was a Christmas party that our friends put on every year like festivus. It was a festivus party kind of easy.

Unknown Speaker :

I think it was Seinfeld.

Unknown Speaker :

Fans will know what that is. But anyway, I went there by myself. You went there by yourself. And we had there was a lot of our friends there. And every time you got up to go talk to somebody, I was wondering, well, Who's he talking to now? Who's he talking to now? What are they talking about? And then I realized, why do I care? That's when I realized I had a little bit more feelings for you then vinner friendship. So I want to know what did you have any inclination at that time? Or do you can you remember that far back?

Unknown Speaker :

I have thought about that. You know, at that episode at that point in time, and all that stuff, I can remember being interested in me, but I don't know if it were, if it was in I don't know what to what degree it was at that point in time. I do know that. And I can't remember when it was it all, but I do remember it was my house warming party. I just purchased my house. Had a bunch of people over and people were in and out. And we were talking and all that stuff. And I looked around and you were gone.

Unknown Speaker :

And I thought, why don't you go?

Unknown Speaker :

And I realized that she had said, goodbye. And I thought, Wait a minute, why didn't she say goodbye? You know, I was puzzled by that. You know, I got on the phone call. She didn't answer. Like, well, okay. Then I got on the phone call a friend of ours and said, Why don't you answer and it was like, Well, at that point, I was like, okay, there's something different now. about this, you know, why am I worried about this? And why is it you know, I thought we were going in the right direction now. I just got dissed. I think and, you know, as far as timeline goes, I've never been good at timelines. And I'm not sure. You know, I can't even remember the year about the house. But I do know that it was probably in the wintertime. And it was after that party. And that's when that's when that's when I knew

Unknown Speaker :

well, here's the thing after that party came Christmas time, right. And you invited me over for the weekend, me and the kids.

Unknown Speaker :

You know, I can't remember exactly that time one, but I guess that's exactly what it was. You're right. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker :

And we went to mass together on Christmas Eve mass, right? We did. Yes, we did. And I remember going Here's the at that time, I always thought you as a spiritual guru. Well, maybe not a spiritual giant. That's how I looked at you. Because, you know, we did meet in a recovery program. And you were just so calm. And you just had all this recovery stuff and you just spiritual to me you were just a spiritual. That's how I saw you as a spiritual person. Somebody

Unknown Speaker :

told me early in that said, Never let them see you sweat. That was part of it.

Unknown Speaker :

Right? But that weekend, the Christmas weekend that I came over with the kids, you had photo albums of you in high school and all that stuff. And I turned to flipping through these photo albums that your mom had created through the years and I thought, Oh my gosh, he has a past he actually had a real life. He's just not this entity that's here all of a sudden.

Unknown Speaker :

That would have made me come crashing down.

Unknown Speaker :

No, it made it even better. Cuz I was like, Oh, he could I know you had pictures of you. Like at prom with dates and stuff, I thought he could have a relationship. He's not gay. He's not gay. He can have a relation yet. Oh, okay. It just made me look at you in a whole new light. Or I could take responsibility. Yes. And boy, did you ever well, boy, did you ever you really stepped up?

Unknown Speaker :

Well, it was a it's been a pleasure, believe me and I was looking forward to it and I thoroughly enjoyed all these years. Absolutely.

Unknown Speaker :

You remember that conversation we had in the garage? One night? We were, you know, after we, you know, started dating. I guess actually, you know after that after your housewarming party and I left you know why I left because I was jealous of what other women here the other woman your other girl girls that were friends.

Unknown Speaker :

Okay, okay, let me let me go back over here.

Unknown Speaker :

I didn't know if he was gay or jealous of the women he

Unknown Speaker :

taught. Exactly. Yes. But anyway.

Unknown Speaker :

But then right after that, I came back did not and I never left after that

Unknown Speaker :

actually came over came over for Christmas. And I think we shuttled back and forth to your house for about two weeks. Yeah. Then after that, y'all were here for good.

Unknown Speaker :

Yep. That's pretty much it. That's it. Yeah. I was in. I was in baby.

Unknown Speaker :

Had you.

Unknown Speaker :

I got you. The cohort cohort.

Unknown Speaker :

Absolutely. Well see that was it's like I've told you over the years that was just part of my plan.

Unknown Speaker :

Or shirt. Yeah. Yeah. He tells me that all the time. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker :

Well, now that we've brought, how we met, I want to know a little bit about your look little bit where you came from kind of I know you grew up in Georgia. St. Simons Island in Georgia. Yeah. And you as your profession, you are a golf professional golf professional. You been in golf, all your life all model all of your life. So you started playing golf at a young age. We have

Unknown Speaker :

pictures of course of you know, having the youth plastic clubs when I was probably what youth plastic clubs that Oh, plastic plastic Golf Club. You know, when I was probably 18 months old Oh, no. I said I used to you know, pick myself up by the club, then take a racquetball Well, that's it. Yeah. And then I think my first organized lessons and all that stuff. They had pictures of me when I was five, doing it, but my father had a love for the game and he introduced us to it at an early age. It was something of course the family could do. And you know, from that point on, I think other than Christmas jobs, My job for always at golf courses always work my either maintenance or doing cards or running tournaments or doing something. So that's been part of my life from that early age. Okay.

Unknown Speaker :

You mentioned Christmas jobs. What kind of Christmas jobs you have?

Unknown Speaker :

Oh, Lord, Radio Shack.

Unknown Speaker :

So tell me about that. Oh my gosh, yes.

Unknown Speaker :

Very interesting. I did that two Christmases for Radio Shack. My brother had been, was actually in management training and he was running a store. And I didn't I worked for him for one day, but I was in another 10 other stores.

Unknown Speaker :

And did you enjoy that?

Unknown Speaker :

It was interesting to say that it was interesting.

Unknown Speaker :

It's not something I'd want to do. Right forever. Of course, you know, you're not gonna sing any radio checks anymore. Right? But no, it was it was a it was a Christmas job. And it was that was Yeah, yeah.

Unknown Speaker :

So you've been in golf, golf, golf, golf your whole life?

Unknown Speaker :

I guess you enjoy it then.

Unknown Speaker :

Do you ever play anymore?

Unknown Speaker :

I haven't played in about 10 years. Gosh,

Unknown Speaker :

people ask me that all the time when they find out you're a golf professional. I Oh, he must play golf. Actually, no, he doesn't play on Sunday.

Unknown Speaker :

If you go into the business of golf, if you run golf courses like that she will play to an extent but you get to the point where that's not your priority, your priorities shift. There are several reasons for that. I'm not going to go into it all. It's a long story about all that but you know, you just get to the point where you've played all the golf you want to play and you're there to let other people enjoy it and that's that's where I take solace. Yeah, just letting I'm there to let other people enjoy the joy that I've had

Unknown Speaker :

no good. Okay. Well in Do you like your job, I guess Yeah, yeah. I mean, what's your favorite part? Now? I can't

Unknown Speaker :

see myself doing anything differently now, right? Because I've done it all my life. But you know, it's one of those positions where it's constantly changing. It's never the same one day in one day out. There are a lot of routine things that you have to do. But it's never the same.

Unknown Speaker :

What was okay, what was your favorite part in the beginning when you were young? And what's your favorite part about it now that you've had a lot of experience with it?

Unknown Speaker :

My favorite part when I was young was the even though we worked a lot hours I got to play golf. And now that I'm further down the line and a little bit older, my favorite part is I don't have to play

Unknown Speaker :

golf. Okay, fair enough. Fair enough. I get it and that's true.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, I get it. You know, when early in the business people wanted you to play that was promoting it, you had play. You went out and played and you Went to a lot of great places in play and all that stuff. But when you get a little bit further and you're more into the business side, you're more into the

Unknown Speaker :

you know, running the play side

Unknown Speaker :

your priorities are much different. And your time is much different. Your your thinking is much different. You know, it's more about doing things for others than just going out there and, you know, pleasing myself to play golf all the time. Right. So, and I don't have to go play golf. Right. So yeah, that's a good thing.

Unknown Speaker :

Well, so when you when we got married, our I say our children even though they're your stepchildren, I still say they're our children because they are you pretty much raised Him from age, you know, young age, because their dad was not in the picture because he is deceased. But anyway, um, you didn't have kids before you were not married before you stepped into an already made sense. Emily, now that we are empty nesters, what do you think about that? Since What do you think of the adjustment? How do you think the adjustment has gone? What what has been the biggest adjustment? I know what mine is? What is your biggest adjustment now that we've become empty nesters So, the biggest adjustment,

Unknown Speaker :

Lord, uh, the biggest adjustment is not having to cook for more people. That's Yeah,

Unknown Speaker :

that's what I swear.

Unknown Speaker :

People. Yes, yes. He still cooks for four people.

Unknown Speaker :

That is the hardest thing to do is to try to figure out how to cook particular people and how to buy food for two people. Because there's some times when we're hungry, and there's some time for not, and you just

Unknown Speaker :

you don't know. So our grocery bill has not gone down probably.

Unknown Speaker :

Maybe a little bit too much.

Unknown Speaker :

But you notice that he said you notice he he does the JIT does all the shopping and the cooking he it seems used to enjoy it and he gets off of work early enough. So he does it. I used to think I could cook until I met, you know, well,

Unknown Speaker :

that's another one of those mom things on my mom used to watch her do things and just enjoy being able to do that and being able to, to provide for myself, you know, that was the big thing. Being able to cook on my own. Yeah. Because, you know, early in the golf business, that's one of those things where you're working so many hours that you don't, you don't go out to eat, you know, you go home. Mm hmm. Because you've been there so long and you have to fix something for yourself. So you know, that day off, you can make buy enough stuff to where you can go home and cook something instead of having to go out. And of course, starting off in the Golf is you're not making any money anyway. Now you have to eat at home. Yeah, you have to be frugal with your money. Yeah. So those were two factors. And plus, I think part of it was you know about the time that I got into the golf business cable cable TV was on its big bang and the Food Network was coming on and I started watching it. Watching Emerald. Yeah, watching some of those guys and you know, learning techniques and learning tricks from them. Yeah. And that may thank

Unknown Speaker :

god I'm so glad that you like to cook and you do a very good job because like I said, I used to think I could cook my idea of cooking was opening a box or opening a can Yes, I didn't know how to make stuff from scratch. So except for one dish that all grown potatoes as the kids would say all rotten potatoes. But they were good.

Unknown Speaker :

Well, I remember when you lowered me in when I think this woman can cook

Unknown Speaker :

I didn't lure you in. You are lowering the maybe a little, maybe a little I have

Unknown Speaker :

gone over to his school at the time. I had gone over to babysit the kids for a while she was in class when we were still just friends. We were just friends. Absolutely. And I was doing her a favor by watching the kids One afternoon and as I walked in, she was walking out and she said, there's fried chicken in here and there's all rotten potatoes and green beans. And so she had fried chicken. She had these potatoes and the good is like, wow, I found someone who can cook for me. Wrong.

Unknown Speaker :

Wrong,

Unknown Speaker :

but it was wonderful.

Unknown Speaker :

I don't think I fried chicken since you

Unknown Speaker :

probably haven't. But it was. What was that say? I can't say that because it's a podcast, but it's not good language to put up something best. They have fried chicken everywhere. Everywhere.

Unknown Speaker :

I don't know you're a little

Unknown Speaker :

bit older. I don't know God project. Oh, fine. Okay,

Unknown Speaker :

fine. I don't know. Is that a commercial? I can't remember. I just remember.

Unknown Speaker :

There was a kid from Iowa. That was a PGM student that used to every time they had fried chicken at the club. He come walking back there to shake his head. It was obviously mimicking some. Okay, yeah, that was ever found that what he was missing? was always hilarious when he can make the big smile on his face with a big old plate of fried chicken. Eat it. That's GD fried chicken Eurail.

Unknown Speaker :

Awesome. Well, we, uh, what are you most? I'm gonna ask you one more question and then I'm going to go into a rapid fire question. What are you most looking forward to in retirement? Now? We're not there yet. We're probably not even close. But we're closer than we were than when we were in our 20s. Oh, yeah. Have you thought of retirement? What kind of things you would like to do when or if we can't ever retire?

Unknown Speaker :

Well, I definitely want to travel and do some traveling. And there. Yeah, there's so many different ways of traveling. We've talked about doing it in a RV and you know, that would be fun for us. have

Unknown Speaker :

small short little while. Yes because you and I both like our hotels like our hotel

Unknown Speaker :

you know and I want to figure out some way to do that affordably but be able to do it a lot. And I want to figure out some way to do some kind of, you know, I don't think that I could actually retire and not have I'm not gonna say a job but not have something to do. And I think you know, finding a nonprofit to work for something like that. You know, where you can invest your time you know, still make some money for I still get

Unknown Speaker :

up take a shower brush your teeth brushing, I put on some clothes and go somewhere. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker :

absolutely. Because I don't think I could be one of those people who you know, still to this day, when I have a day off. Or when we go on vacation. 530 hits and I'm up drinking coffee. Yeah, going. Let's do something we

Unknown Speaker :

never heard. And cringy we're always down there walking the decks and you couldn't just sit still.

Unknown Speaker :

Funny story if you don't mind. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker :

on our honeymoon at 530 in the morning, went on the cruise and I was drinking coffee and then we were we were cruising the Mediterranean. And if you went up with levels, you would have this little coffee bar that sat out by the pool deck that wasn't kind of enclosed from the weather. But every morning I used to get up and go up and back then I was smoking these little cigars. I go up there smoking. There was a Japanese man who sat there and he spoke no English. I spoke no Japanese but we would sit there and cut up and talk around, got up and just have a great time. reminded me of my father one time. We were we used to go to this Italian restaurant. And we knew the people that ran it and her father, their father came in from Italy and sat down at the table with us and they introduced us all. He spoke No, no he was my dad spoke no Italian and They sat there and my brother and I watched and they just had the best time in the world for two hours, not knowing what either one of them said said, but just we're having a great round. And I thought about that. Yeah. And after we got off our crew off to the ship, we went to Rome, and we were, you know, messing around in Rome. We were at the Colosseum get ready to go in. And I looked over and I saw the Japanese man. And he looked at me and it was like, we hadn't seen each other and years and we were best friends. You know, check hands back look. Like, good to see you my, my long lost friend. And then, you know, what about our business? Oh, man, that was a good story. You know, that's one of those things. If I had gotten up 530 in the morning, I would have never had that experience. I could never, probably never just retire and not do something. Yeah,

Unknown Speaker :

that's what I'm thinking about. You know, I could retire and do nothing. I could sit here and watch TV Netflix on it.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, look at me. Go get

Unknown Speaker :

Anyway, so you ready for your rapid fire? Questions? Don't be nervous. These rapid fire questions I want to be tongue tied. No they're easy questions they're made to be easy where you don't have to think about anything. What position Did you play in football in high school?

Unknown Speaker :

I played monster man.

Unknown Speaker :

What is monster man never heard of that position man as

Unknown Speaker :

an outside linebacker, okay rover back kind of a hybrid between a line Brett linebacker and a defensive back. And I kicked.

Unknown Speaker :

Okay. All right. So that was defense, kicking. No. Did you fancy? Okay. All right. What's your favorite food? Italian. Okay, what was the last thing you ate? Today?

Unknown Speaker :

Chicken salad, cheese and crackers.

Unknown Speaker :

Where would you like to visit on your next vacation? First thing

Unknown Speaker :

somewhere in the South Pacific. Okay, one of those two. That's just nothing but blue. The hotel sits on the water. Of course that'd be the last trip we'd ever take because it cost us So yeah, that's where I want to

Unknown Speaker :

go. Okay, all right. That's

Unknown Speaker :

not realistic but that's

Unknown Speaker :

what would be realistic. your next vacation like where would you want to go? In the States actually wonder the beach? Oh, me too. I was thinking about that. We haven't been in a while. The last person you texted you on your way home. You're on your way. Oh, all right. What was the last thing you bought online? Last thing I bought online? Was it the it was the pear chocolate cake? Yes. Because he makes some great chicken salad. And your mother used to make the Gar

Unknown Speaker :

I've got the recipe and I've got to make that.

Unknown Speaker :

Okay, give the recipe to Constance and have her make it for us and we could pay her.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah.

Unknown Speaker :

Okay, you're always like that.

Unknown Speaker :

But what is your favorite YouTube channel? Yours. Oh my gosh, for real.

Unknown Speaker :

I know you watch a lot of sailing in chess. I have

Unknown Speaker :

actually for their favorite. Okay.

Unknown Speaker :

Coffee time chess.

Unknown Speaker :

SV Delos

Unknown Speaker :

Uh huh. That's SV SV Delos, censorship

Unknown Speaker :

310 pilot. And Steve. Oh, can Evo put Steve okay. Okay, he's a private pilot that flies a

Unknown Speaker :

really cool point. Anyway, those two, right?

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, so sailing, flying and chess and you used to watch a lot of Indian street food cooking

Unknown Speaker :

thing. Yeah, those weren't really those are just flash up, you know? Okay, panning on Facebook.

Unknown Speaker :

I thought they were interesting. I always cool. Yeah. You're the one that actually got me into YouTube. It's so funny. Really? Yeah. Cuz you started watching YouTube channels before

Unknown Speaker :

I did and of course, there are some things that I'll sit there and watch the slot machine

Unknown Speaker :

channels where you know, so I just incessantly playing a slot machine. Like why am I yeah,

Unknown Speaker :

that's kind of weird but

Unknown Speaker :

the jackpot

Unknown Speaker :

one more you ready one more rapid fire question and then we're going to end it give it time apples or oranges

Unknown Speaker :

Yes, most yes

Unknown Speaker :

that's true. That's the, you know a thought about that. Like, I can't say Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

Unknown Speaker :

I love both apples and yes and they're good together.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

Unknown Speaker :

The thing you got me to do is start eating fruit

Unknown Speaker :

that was just such a bad influence

Unknown Speaker :

made me want to be a better person. Well

Unknown Speaker :

I hope that that's all we can ever do my thing.

Unknown Speaker :

Well, somebody had said something a long time ago and I think it was one of my co workers about he said and but his wife, but I'm saying it now about us. I must have done something really good in my life to do to have gotten you to deserve you and you must have done something really bad to be cursed with me.

Unknown Speaker :

That's not true at all. I feel blessed every day.

Unknown Speaker :

Yeah, okay. Right. Okay.

Unknown Speaker :

Well, you're my husband. You have to say that I don't have

Unknown Speaker :

to sign anything.

Unknown Speaker :

All right. Well, we are at actually coming up on 30 minutes, believe it or not, wow. Yeah, I know. And it always does. It always amazes me. Well, thank you. And hopefully, you'll be back next week with some of something I don't know. We'll figure out something

Unknown Speaker :

that was an honor a privilege. I enjoyed it. My beautiful.

Unknown Speaker :

Alright, thanks. Bye.

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