An Americanist Briefing
Welcome to An Americanist Daily, your go-to solo podcast for a quick and snarky dive into the current events and politics shaping our nation! As a daily extension of the An Americanist blog, I’m here to break down the headlines that matter—Monday through Friday—without the fluff and filler.
In each bite-sized episode, I tackle the latest political news, dissect current events, and share my unfiltered thoughts, all with a sprinkle of humor and a touch of sass. From legislative shenanigans to social issues stirring the pot, I’ll keep you informed and entertained in just a few minutes each day.
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An Americanist Briefing
The Monday Morning Mix: Volcanoes, Cheerios, and the Vastness of Space
Mondays are for easy listening, and this episode delivers with four diverse topics guaranteed to start your week with a smile and something to ponder.
The first story revolves around a tourist who, in the pursuit of the perfect volcano view, took a terrifying tumble off a Hawaiian cliff. Miraculously saved by a tree after falling 30 feet, this adventurer's late-night expedition without a flashlight serves as both entertainment and cautionary tale.
Cereal lovers might want to sit down for the next bit of news - Cheerios is discontinuing three beloved flavors, prompting a nostalgic reflection on those midnight bowls of cereal with extra sugar that seemed like such a good idea at the time. Meanwhile, Gwyneth Paltrow continues the tradition of celebrities seeking relevance through provocative content with her topless cooking video that sparked a cheeky response from her daughter.
The most thought-provoking segment dives into cosmic reality, featuring a former NASA official's debunking of UFO myths. The sheer scale of our universe - with up to 400 billion stars in the Milky Way alone and potentially two trillion galaxies beyond - makes alien visits mathematically impossible. The closest star system would take visitors 70,000 years to reach us! These astronomical facts invite us to contemplate our tiny place in this vast cosmos and question why we humans think we're so important.
The episode wraps with exciting news about a new Substack featuring three unique sections and a mouthwatering question of the day about ideal meals without health restrictions. After all this talk about strict keto diets and missing sugar, who wouldn't crave a conversation about dream dinners?
Subscribe for more morning musings that blend current events, pop culture, and cosmic perspective with a dash of humor and personal reflection. What would your answer be to today's question?
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Hey, hey, good morning. It's a Monday. Rise and shine, wakey, wakey eggs and bakey. Alright, here we go. I have four topics for you today, not two, not three, but four, and they're super easy going four, uh, politicians of their democratic politicians in minnesota, killing two of them. Oh, you know.
Speaker 1:And I wrote a blog post yesterday for the victor girls, where his wife was actually pulled over on Saturday, had copious amounts of cash on her, apparently they didn't say how much, but they mentioned it. They had. She had cash, she had ammo, she had a weapon, she had passports and three passengers in her car. We didn't hear, we don't know any of the details of that, but they let her go. They, they, they detained her for a little while, talked to her, interviewed her and then let her go, just let her go. They, they detained her for a little while, talked to her, interviewed her and then let her go, just let her go. So I'm thinking, well, maybe they thought she was going to lead him. Lead them to him. Anyway, I wrote about if you care to go, look at it. All right, we need to move on to the silly stories, all right.
Speaker 1:Tourist falls off cliff while trying for a close-up view of Hawaii volcano eruption. He's okay, he's all right, don't have to worry about him, let's see. Let's go to the New York. Why is this doing this? Oh my gosh, okay, sorry, I was having a little problem there. New York Post.
Speaker 1:A Bostonian slipped right off the edge of a cliff while trying to get a close-up look at Hawaii's Kalua volcano erupting, but miraculously survived. Why, if I'm going to Hawaii, I'm not going to go tour a volcano while it's erupting? No, that's not my gig. No, I'm not an outdoorsy kind of girl. No, that's not my gig. No, I'm not an outdoorsy kind of girl. No, thank you.
Speaker 1:The 30-year-old man edged just a tad too close to a cliff at the Byron Ledge Trail in Hawaii Volcanoes National Park while he was trying to find a vantage point for the eruption on June 11th. It was the 25th eruption since December in Hawaii. The man took a tumble over the edge around 9 o'clock at night while wandering around without a flashlight or headlight. Officials with the National Park Service said, according to a press release so I don't know about these tours. I'm sure they give guided tours of these volcanoes, but nine o'clock at night was he just out there by himself? What a dumbass. Uh, search and rescue teams, already on site to help manage traffic ahead of the explosion, combed the area for the man. They eventually found him 30 feet below the cliff after a tree miraculously broke his fall. Had the man not hit the tree, he would have fallen an additional 100 feet, which officials say could have been fatal. Instead, he walked away, he had to wait there and he had to get rescued.
Speaker 1:Blah, blah, blah. Uh well, I don't know why these people do this. Um, all right, we're moving on to the next article. If you're a Cheerios fan, you might be a little sad this morning. Popular cereal brand pulls fan favorite flavors from shelves and people are not happy about it. I'm so sad not me. That's what the article says. That's what the headline says. They're pulling um, they're pulling from Cheerios. The beloved General Mills cereal bread has decided to stop manufacturing three popular flavors. Here they are Honey Nut Cheerios, medley Crunch Chocolate Peanut Butter Cheerios and Honey Nut Cheerio Minis.
Speaker 1:Now look, I haven't. I used to eat cereal all the time. I loved me some cereal and I like Cheerios. I would add sugar to it too, and whole milk. Oh my God, no wonder I gained so much weight. I used to get up in the middle of the night and eat cereal. Yes, I know, no wonder, no wonder, I was unhealthy and fat. Don't eat cereal, y'all Okay. So anyway, if you care about that, that's happening, so go stock up on your Cheerios, all right?
Speaker 1:Here is another example of a 50-something-year-old woman celebrity trying to be relevant again Gwyneth Paltrow relevant again. Gwyneth Paltrow show now. Now, look, these people have to do this themselves. They don't have camera people, cameramen and camera women walking around their home. So she did this on purpose to put this out there. The paparazzi was not all up in her home filming her. She did this. All right, here we go. This is from page six. Excuse me while I clear my throat.
Speaker 1:Apple Martin, which is her daughter, cheekily reacted to her mom, gwyneth Paltrow, ditching her top to cook a boyfriend breakfast while countryside in Italy. All right, first of all, what is a boyfriend breakfast? I don't know what that is. She was cooking breakfast. Why do they have to name these things, little cutesy shit like that? Did I steal your shirt by accident, or dot dot dot?
Speaker 1:The 20-year-old wrote in the comment section of the instagram video of the actress standing over a stovetop wearing nothing but white pajama shorts. Uh, on saturday. So she's in her own home. She's recording herself being topless, with the back towards the camera. By the time she turns the camera around, she does have a shirt on. But why, why? Why do this? Why the Goop founder, 52 years old Gwyneth Paltrow is, was amused by the model's response, writing back a laughing, smiling face, and it shows the picture of her. I mean, she had to have submitted these pictures to Page Six. The clip showed Paltrow, who shares unless they grabbed him off her Instagram account. Showed Paltrow, who shares unless they grabbed him off her Instagram account. So there's another example of a 50 something year old woman celebrity trying to remain relevant by thinking stripping down in front of the camera is going to do it.
Speaker 1:Well, I guess it worked, because I'm talking about it, but not in a good way. The last thing I have up is US government uses UFOs as cover to hide a lot of things. We have known this. We have known this. Remember, they used to talk about UFOs and somebody would always say they're trying to distract you. Well, here you go. We got a NASA official telling us that is true.
Speaker 1:In an era captivated by unidentified flying objects and government conspiracies, one former NASA official is cutting through the noise and casting doubt on aliens coming to Earth. I read most of this article and I just find it fascinating. I hope I can skip over to the parts that the reason I brought this up? Because we have such a massive area here that God created with space and all the planets and stars and galaxies and we are the only living human beings in this whole thing, I mean, when you think about it, it just blows your freaking mind. So prove it Honestly, prove it.
Speaker 1:He said to those who believe in the presence of UFOs on Earth. They've been claiming that there have been UFOs since the 1940s and you know Area 51 supposedly houses UFOs, he told Fox News Digital. Have someone go in and look at Area 51. He says that during his work with the NASA office of Inspector General, he would regularly get calls from individuals who believed they were abducted or had a chip in their brain from aliens. Believe they were abducted or had a chip in their brain from aliens. What I used to tell my students was the possibility of anybody coming from another world to visit us is beyond unlikely, he said. And what I would tell the people that would call me up with these tales about being visited by aliens. See a psychiatrist? Yes, I agree.
Speaker 1:Citing astronomical distances and scientific understanding of the solar system uh, gutt heinz that's his name explained that improbability of any extraterrestrial visitors reaching earth. Here we go. This is the paragraph I wanted to get to. There are up to 400 billion billion 400 billion stars in the Milky Way alone. There are maybe one to two trillion galaxies in the universe. Let that sink in. There are maybe one to two trillion galaxies not stars, galaxies in the universe, but the reality is this the closest solar system is Alpha Centauri. Alpha Centauri A, b and Proxima Centauri are the closest stars, he said. The bottom line is that it's 4.4 light years away, or 25 trillion miles away, and if somebody started flying to Proxima and Centauri, or the other way around, it would take them over 70,000 years to get here, 70,000 years to get here, 70,000 years to get here. He said. Nobody is visiting us from another world. So let that sink in though. All of that, all of that, all the galaxies, all the stars, all the galaxies, everything, the expansiveness of space. And here we are on this little planet called Earth. All the stars, all the galaxies, everything, the expansiveness of space. And here we are on this little planet called Earth, with people walking around thinking we're all that important. What in the world? That just blows my mind.
Speaker 1:Okay, I've run over my time. I need to do a question of the day, but I wanted to let you know I've started a sub stack, I know, and Americanistcom is not going anywhere. It will still be my my main baby to to write on politics and stuff like that, pop culture, things that's going on in the news. But my sub stack is going to be a little bit more personal. I have three sections in my sub stack. I have Suge Speaks, I have the Off-Duty Dispatch and I have Stories from the Speed Queen. So it's going to be fiction writing. So it's going to be probably geared towards women over a certain age. So I understand if Mr Sean's a gibbous don't want to subscribe, I get it, but maybe present it to your wife. I am kind of looking for like a small focus group to follow to these, especially my speed queens, speed queen, stories of fiction, just to get some feedback and stuff like that.
Speaker 1:All right, question of the day. All right, I'm going to punish myself. Punish myself a little bit here with this question of the day. I've been on this strict keto diet and last night I was telling the gent how I'm sick of it. You know I miss eating good, bad food. I, you know I still. Of course I can still eat steak and stuff like that. We just haven't had steak in a while. Maybe I'll suggest that to the gent, let's have some steak steak tonight, but I won't have a potato with it.
Speaker 1:You know I miss the potatoes. The starches, uh. The sugar, oh my gosh, I miss the sugar. The bowls of cereal, oh, oh now. I haven't had cereal in years. But, um, if I had a bowl of cereal in front of me right now, I'd probably eat it anyway. I, I like the results I'm getting okay with this, but it's like, if I have to think about it in long term, like this is what I have to eat for the rest of my life.
Speaker 1:Yuck, I want to enjoy my food. I mean, the food that I eat is not bad. Okay, it's really not. I just sometimes I crave some bad stuff and that's what I want. The other night I was craving. I wanted a whole container of nothing but cake icing. I was about ready to go to the store and just get me some vanilla icing and just eat it. All right, question of the day. I promise I'm getting there. Tell me about your ideal meal, barring any kind, forget any kind of health. Give me what you like as your favorite meal. All right, I gotta go. Thanks for listening. Love y'all. Bye.
